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...

Balrog Mash (sung to Monster Mash by Bobby 'Boris' Pickett)
by Inferno

Sung by Balin (with backup chorus of dwarves).

I was working in the mines,
Late one night
When my eyes beheld and eerie sight.
For Durin's Bane from hiding began to rise
And suddenly, to my surprise,

(He did the mash!)
He did the Balrog mash.
(The Balrog mash!)
It was a Third Age smash
(He did the mash!)
It caught on in a flash
(He did the mash!)
He did the Balrog mash.

From the narrow bridge
In Moria's east.
To the rancid lake
Where the Watcher feasts
The dwarves all came
With knives and forks
For a Halloween party
With the Balrog's orcs.

(They did the mash!)
They did the Balrog mash.
(The Balrog mash!)
It was a Third Age smash
(They did the mash!)
It caught on in a flash
(They did the mash!)
They did the Balrog mash.

The cave trolls were having fun
The party had just begun.
The guests included Sauron,
Saruman, and his son.

The scene was rocking,
All were digging the sounds
Gollum on chains
Backed by his 'gollum' sounds
The Fellowship was about to arrive
With their vocal group,
The Hobbit Five (Four!) (Whatever)

(They played the mash!)
They played the Balrog mash.
(The Balrog mash!)
It was a Third Age smash
(They played the mash!)
It caught on in a flash
(They played the mash!)
They played the Balrog mash.

Out from the Void
Morgoth's voice did ring
It seems he was troubled
By just one thing
Howled in fury
And shook his fist
And said,
"Whatever happened to my Utumno Twist?"

(It's now the mash!)
It's now the Balrog mash.
(The Balrog mash!)
And it's a Third Age smash
(It's now the mash!)
It's caught on in a flash
(It's now the mash!)
It's now the Balrog mash.

Now everything's cool,
Dwarves and orcs in the band
And the Balrog mash
Is the hit of the land,
For you the readers,
This mash was meant too
When you get to the gates,
Tell them Balin sent you.

(And you can mash!)
And you can Balrog mash.
(The Balrog mash!)
And do the Third Age smash
(And you can mash!)
You'll catch on in a flash
(Then you can mash!)
Then you can Balrog mash.


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