Song Parodies
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Middle-Earth Tours Song Parodies |
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One Week (originally by Barenaked Ladies) I Will Survive (originally by Gloria Gaynor) The Gardener/The Boxer (originally by Simon and Garfunkel) Boromir/Aqualung (originally by Jethro Tull) Dude Looks Like a Lady (originally by Aerosmith) Hotel Minas Morgul/Hotel California (originally by The Eagles) Noldor Queen/Killer Queen (originally by Queen) |
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One Week ("One Week" by Barenaked Ladies)
It's been one week since you left with me Bailed on all of the rest and said you're coming Five days since you climbed with me We caught Gollum together, man he was nasty Three days since the Emyn Muil I realize it's all my fault I fell in that pool Yesterday you were still with me But it'll still be a month 'till we ditch the One Ring Hold it now and watch the hoodwink As I make you stop, think You'll think you're looking at Aragorn I use the Ring to command and now I think he understands I've tamed old Gollum and he knows I've got the upper hand Sad like a puppy when he begs me To let him just see Because he knows the Ring's value But Gollum's got the sly wits He's giving us fits We try to hold him but he busts through Gonna make a break and take a fake I'd like to shake him till he aches I like stewed rabbit it's the finest of the flavors Gotta see the show 'cause then you'll know The oliphaunt is gonna show 'Cause it's so dangerous, you'll have to sign a waiver How can I help it if I think that Gollum's our best hope Trying hard to restrain him with elf rope I'm the kind of guy who looks for redemption Can't understand what I mean? Well, you will, Sam I have a tendency to put the Ring on my hand I have a history of getting myself hurt It's been one week since you rescued me Pulled me out of the Marsh and said you're crazy Five days since you cooked for me I've still got the grease stains on both my knees It's been three days since Henneth Annun You realized you'd said too much not a moment too soon Yesterday, I'd forgiven you And now I sit back and wait to find out what to do Faramir fair man, the true blue Ranger Says to watch out 'cause we're in big danger Trusting a creep with no clothes on We have to go on I hope we'll do the job and get gone Like Khazad Dum dwarves I'm getting frantic Like Tom I'm tantric Like lembas guaranteed to satisfy Like Celebrimbor I made cool rings Okay I don't make rings But if I did they'd teach me how to fly Gonna find someone who knows the way Gonna find the kind that won't betray just so my Nerves aren't always jangling like a harp string Gotta get in tune with Gandalf soon In Khazad Dum he met his doom with a Balrog That may or may not have wings How can I help it if I think that Smeagol's our best hope Trying hard to restrain him with elf rope I'm the kind of guy who looks for redemption Can't understand what I mean? Well, you will, Sam I have a tendency to put the Ring on my hand I have a history of ending up hurt It's been one week since he quit his job Dropped us off in the Lair, say hi to Shelob Five days since your big rescue You said he just did just what I thought he was gonna do Three days since the tower room We realize we might be killed, but what can we do? Yesterday you just cried with me 'Cause it'll still be two weeks till we ditch the One Ring It'll still be two weeks till we ditch the One Ring It'll still be two weeks till we ditch the One Ring I Will Survive At first I was afraid, I was trembling Kept thinking I could never live Without my Precious Ring But then I spent so many nights Just thinking Baggins did me wrong And I grew strong Still I can hardly get along I want you back Here in your place And so I'll slink back to the world with this sad look upon my face I should have kept you on that rock I should have put you on a chain If I'd have known for just one second You'd be causing me such pain And so I'll go, walk out this door Can't hide away now 'Cause you're not with me anymore Baggins' the one who tried to break me with goodbye Did he think I'd crumble? Did he think I'd lay down and die? Oh no, not I I will survive Oh, as long as I know how to hate I know I'll stay alive I've got all my life to live I've got all my pain to give And I'll survive, I will survive Hey hey. It takes all the strength I have to leave the damp and dark To step out under the white face With my blackened heart But I've spent oh so many nights Just gnawing fisssshes by myself I used to cry, but now I long to see him die And I still want my Precious back I'm not some foolish little person who'll just vanish in a crack And so he thought he could walk off and just forget all about me Oh no, I swear I'll own again that Precious Ring that still owns me And so I'll go, walk out this door Can't hide away now 'Cause you're not with me anymore Baggins' the one who tried to break me with goodbye Did he think I'd crumble? Did he think I'd lay down and die? Oh no, not I I will survive Oh, as long as I know how to hate I know I'll stay alive I've got all my life to live I've got all my pain to give And I'll survive, I will survive Hey hey. The Gardener (from Simon and Garfunkel's "The Boxer") He is just a poor boy, though his story's often told How he followed Mister Frodo out into a life of peril And of suffering He could have stayed Still old Sam did what he ought to do And never once betrayed Hm-mm-mm, hm-mm-mm-mm When he left his home and his Gaffer there, He was no more than a boy In the company of hobbits In the danger of the Great East Road, they're Runnin' scared Laying low, hiding out from big Black Riders Creatures they don't want to see Looking for the relative safety of Bree My-my-my, my-my-my-my-my, my-my-my My-my-my, my-my-my-my-my-my-my My-my-my-my-my Seeking only to be loyal Sam would not be left behind Elrond couldn't stop him So he struck out with the Fellowship from Rivendell I do declare It's a good thing he was with Frodo They made a perfect pair La, la, la, la, la, la, la My-my-my, my-my-my-my-my, my-my-my My-my-my, my-my-my-my-my-my-my My-my-my-my-my At the breaking of the Fellowship When Frodo tried to leave, go alone Samwise swam out to the boat and made him take him on On the road - to the end In the clearing stands a hobbit And a gardener by his trade But he stood by Mister Frodo Through every trial that laid him down or cut him. And he cried out through his anger and his pain, "I won't leave him, I won't leave him," And the gardener still remains Yes, he still remains Hm-mm-mm My-my-my, my-my-my-my-my, my-my-my My-my-my, my-my-my-my-my-my-my My-my-my-my-my |
Boromir (from "Aqualung" by Jethro Tull)
Camping at Parth Galen Eyeing Frodo's Ring with bad intent Rage twisting up his face Greedy fingers clutching with bad grace Boromir Crying in the cold shade Watching as the frightened hobbit fades Boromir Feeling like a dead duck Aragorn's gonna curse this rotten luck Oh, Boromir Bo's feeling cold And Frodo's wandering lonely Killing time 'cause he's afraid to leave Heart hurting bad As he climbs up Amon Hen He crawls up on the seat and looks out east Feeling betrayed Orc army's on the way Redemption à la Bo and escape for me Boromir my friend Now you're making me uneasy You poor old sod, you've fallen to the Ring And I still remember Caradhras' foggy freeze And the way you fought at Balin's Tomb Man, you were good to me But you failed Galadriel's stress test And tried to steal the Ring If you could fall, who else is safe from me? Whoa-oh-oh-ohhhhhhhh (musical interlude) Deeee dee dee dee, Dee dee, dee dee, dee dee dee Dee-dee dee-dee dee-dee, dee dee dee Boromir my friend Now you're making me uneasy You poor old sod, you've fallen to the Ring "Dude Looks Like a Lady" (originally by Aerosmith) Cruisin' through the realm of Gondor I'm captain in the Dark Lord's war Now I never lose in a fight Baby maybe I'm wrong but I think that I'm right That's right. On field I'm having the time Of my life until somebody says I'll kill you if you cross this line Then he whipped off his helm And he blew me away Dude looks like a lady Dude looks like a lady Dude looks like a lady Dude looks like a lady. So never judge a fighter in inches Or who you're gonna meet in the trenches Death put me wise to this chick in disguise She put her broadsword through my brainpan Lord imagine my surprise Dude looks like a lady Dude looks like a lady Dude looks like a lady Dude looks like a lady. Hotel Minas Morgul (from "Hotel California" by the Eagles) On a dark mountain highway Foul wind in my hair Dank smell of corruption Flowing from Shelob's Lair Up ahead in the distance I saw a flickering light My heart grew heavy and my mind grew dim I had to stop for the fright There it stood in the valley I saw the tower fell And I was thinking to myself, This sure ain't heaven but it might be hell With Sam Gamgee beside me Gollum showing the way We started down that loathsome road I thought I heard someone say Welcome to the Hotel Minas Morgul Such an ugly place (such an ugly place) Such an ugly face There's plenty of wraiths at the Hotel Minas Morgul Any time of year (any time of year) You can find them here Flowers are wickedly twisted Corpse-light evil as sin Gollum says he knows the way on through, And he's my friend Sam don't know why I trust him He sees just threat But Gandalf said to remember He has a part to play yet Then I pulled out the One Ring "Please stop my hand" It seemed I didn't have the will to fight and my soul would be damned And still those Nazgul were crying from far away Stop your heart in the middle of your chest When you hear them say (chorus) Nazgul and the One Ring Heart frozen like ice And I said, "We are all just prisoners here Of the Dark Lord's device" And on the topmost tower Sat a vicious beast If it found us with its steely eyes We would end up as its feast Last thing I remember, I was Running for the pass I had to find the passage through Or my poor ass would be grass "Relax," said old Gollum "We are sure here to succeed Someone's waiting for us above And her you'll never leave" "Noldor Queen" (from "Killer Queen" by Queen) She keeps her Lorien throne room in a pretty Elven flet Wisest of wise she is; Celeborn hasn't caught up yet Built-in ability for Elven civility And recipes for lembas, well, now you can't decline Sun and moon she's older than; fairest in all the land Extraordinarily nice She's a Noldor queen Be glad she's on your team Steady eyes with an Elven gleam Guaranteed to read your mind Recommended by the wiz Unparalleled at mirror biz Wanna try? To avoid Sauron's minions she kept her treasure close at hand The ring called Nenya, she used it to preserve her land Met a dwarf called Gimli, impressed him with her memory Of dwarf-speak; stated simply, She seduced him with her mind Well, she came naturally from Aman (naturally) To Arwen she was Grandmam A bit older than she looks She's a Noldor queen Be glad she's on your team Steady eyes with an Elven gleam Guaranteed to read your mind Recommended by the wiz Unparalleled at mirror biz Wanna try? Drop of a hat she's as chilly as, as fearsome as the Dwarrowdelf Then momentarily just a maiden, temporarily just an Elf She'll absolutely drive you wild, wild She's here to help you She's a Noldor queen Be glad she's on your team Steady eyes with an Elven gleam Guaranteed to read your mind Recommended by the wiz Unparalleled at mirror biz Wanna try? |